Cathy

[Dick]

Hello Dick
well the news today is the worst news i have ever received sense they told me my Father was dyeing.
Cathy is now in the first stage of Death. we lowered her dose of fentinal or for folks like me that has no idea about medical terms or meds. i just call it milk of amnesia. but we lowered it just enough that we could ask her a few questions and the first thing i said to her was I LOVE YA VERY MUCH PLEASE FIGHT FOR ME. then i told her that i had signed the papers for her to be traked and she looked at me with almost hate lol. i told you that i had promised her that i would not let them do that again. I was not aware that her Pulmonary Dr had already woke her and talked to her and she let him know that she was very tired and wanted no more treatment. he took me aside after i talked to her and informed me of that talk. thats when i told him that yes she is a DNR but i have the paper and had no intention of giving them to the staff as that would be the end.
anyway i got hold of her children one 32 and the other is 43 and told them what she wanted the Dr agreed that was her words.
so they are going to go make their peace with her today and tomorrow i have to do the hardest thing i have ever in my life done. shut down the machines and watch her go away to our God. i have been in tears all night and can barely see. I am not sad for her cause she will be going to a healthy body and a better life/ but i do feel sorry for myself that i know have to finish my life without my soul mate. but when i told her that i would fulfill her wish's she smiled at me like to say good boy lol only thing missing was her rubbing my head lol. I dont drink at all but had a few beers the last two nites but i had to end it cause i dont want this to be my turning point and turn to alcohol like a lot of people do. i want to remember her with a clear head. well buddy i just got that call and have to get to the Hospital.
I will let you know how it go's when i get back
take care Buddy and get your pray on and help me show her the direction just in case she needs help to see the light
thanks for being such a good friend now and after this mess
Gary

[coop]

[wavysteps2003]

I do not know what to say. Death is the last point of life as we know it. We fear it and few relish the thought of going beyond. Sometimes death is a welcomed happening for life can be to painful to endure.

I am sorry that this is occurring, we must all go through it and the departure of a love one can be as painful as the most intense part of life. Be at peace, both of you, all things happen for a purpose.

BJ Neff

[eagames]

Really sad to hear this.

[ken]

My prayers are with you and her Gary.I am truely sorry to hear this. Be strong and think of all the great memories.God Bless

[deep103]

I came here to post a joke and then I read this thread. I'm new here and have not been following your situation. Please accept my condolences. I know a little of what you are feeling right now. My wife passed 10 years ago at the ripe old age of 45. There are no words that anyone can say, nothing they can do to ease the pain. Just know there are people who will listen if you want to talk, myself being one of them. My prayers are with you.

[fiddle-fart]

Our prayers are with your wife, Cathy, and that she may have a peaceful ending to the painful life she has had. She has made her decision and it was for the best for all her loved ones.
Gary it will be hard to pull the machines, but remember GOD's LOVE has given you many happy moments with Cathy and that she will only missed for a short while until you both pair back up in heaven.

GOD Bless Cathy, You and the Children.
Our Prayers are with All of Your Family

Mike and Connie

[garylcsr]

hello all
I have been at the hospital sense 8 this morning and just now got back to my hotel. i cried so much that my eyeballs dried up lol but when we woke her up to say our goodbyes this afternoon she was still adiment that we was doing the right thing. i begged her again to let me have her traked but then the Dr pulled me aside and showed me her cat scan. it was all white with a few black dots on it (her lungs) and i said well thats not a lot of black maybe we can get her through it again. that when he informed me that the black dots was the good lung. she had pneumonia so bad that the machine took from 680-1500 LBS the get the air to her lung normal is 15. anyway we all got together i told her to tell god that most of the time when i did bad things i was only kidding lol she smiled what little smile she could. they then sent us out of the room to prepare her for us. when they called us back all the machine except the heart o2 and pulse was removed and she was just my baby again with a few wires. i dont remember ever in my life crying so much but i had plenty of support with me I held her hand and watched her slowly slip away and when it was said and done she did have the most beautiful smile on her face. that and her blue eyes with the gray ring around the blue was the most beautiful sight i have ever seen. anyway. she is at peace I am at peace i took the kids out to ihop we had coffee and hotcakes and laffed about how she was the lady she was and how her and i argued every day over nothing but it is what made us US we never said a bad word to each other but she would call me out every time when i would be telling a story and got one fact wrong she would set me straight and thats when we would argue then finally agree to disagree.
anyway i am at peace with my decision or her decision as it was and i think i am finally going to get some sleep it's only been a few days so i may have to be woke up by the dogs to take them out. so thank you all for being there for me when i didn't know if i would be able to handle it and some times i didn't but time will take care of me. so i am now going to go to bed and dream of my love hopefully for the whole night. then i am going to get up go take care of the final stuff and get in my car and drive to Texas to visit my Grandchildren and hopefully when i get back in a week or more my home will be put back together and i will stair at our wedding photo on the wall maybe cry again but i dont think so cause right now my heart fills content that i did the right thing. sorry about the book but this is the first time in 9 days that i was able to type and see the keyboard lol. good night everyone and remember if you have a loved one say I LOVE YOU every time you leave the house and even just when walking by them because they go so fast
Gary

[Dick]

May you rest in peace, Cathy

[Bob P]

It really hurts to read your comments, but as you know, Cathy is in a much better place Gary. Even after all you have had to endure, you still have all of us as your extended family. Please feel free to let us know if there is anything we can do for you. I am sure I can speak for most everyone here. We love you Gary. May the lord help you through this. Come back when you are ready...OK?

[Dick]

While I did not post his last email, i will say that he has gone to Tx to see the Grandkids, and will be back in about a week, (while they finish repairing his house which was heavily water damaged,while he was in the hospital, and broken into , later, by some "concerned citizens", The kind that are only concerned with what damage they can do, and what they can steal while there).
He said he will be back, and sends his thanks to all who sent their prayers.
It was the post Gary made, above, that says it all.
He will be back

[garylcsr]

hello everyone
I got a Ham in the mail last week and it said from coin community family. i was thinking from coin com.com but no one there knows anything about it so i think it may be from here of another site i use. anyway if it was from you all i thank you.
I am doing good now and am getting on with life even picked out my new kitchen and living room set. and you guessed it. lol man cave all the way. Leather couch and chairs 50inch or bigger TV yep 3d and all. so you can see i made my peace with the whole process and it will soon be done. we picked up her cremated remains today and will soon take her to the mountain with her parents and spread her. did you know i needed a permit to even put a box of ashes in the car? how crazy is that? but i guess welcome to the 20th century has a few flaws lol.
well take care all and i will be back in full swing very soon
Gary

[Bob P]

It is good to see that you are coping Gary. So, you are making a man cave huh? That sounds exciting. Let us know if we can do anything for you.

[garylcsr]

thanks Bob
i may need ideas later i always had a wife of a decorator to do all this but decided that a wife cost way more than a decorator so it is on me sense i dont want to deal with either again lol

[Dottir]

Hi Gary,

I just read this thread for the first time and was really moved by it. I'm so sorry for Cathy, and for you, for what you both went through, and for what you've gone through.

What a tough decision to have to make. I'm glad Cathy isn't suffering any more, and I'm very glad to hear you feel right inside for making that decision to help her along. Thats love.

I hope I have someone like you, loving me as much, if ever I'm in that position and wanting to be let go, who loves me and is strong enough like you, to let that happen when it's the right time to let me go.

I love memories. Any time I miss and want my Mom, Dad, or anyone else I miss and love who've passed away, all I have to do is think of them and remember them, and we're together in that way again. Still. I still feel and experience my loved ones presence. Inside of me. And thats pretty darned excellent consolation to have them with me still in that way, when I can't have them in front of me

I'm glad you're sounding so at peace with your decision. I once sat with and held someone hand and sang or talked to them, she was comatose, while she went through the process of passing away. I was there when she passed over. Wow. Beautiful and sad all at the same time to have that honour to be with someone when they pass when its time and passing is an end to suffering.

You take care